She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize