I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
