just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
