just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
