you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
