so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
