look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
