he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
