Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
