I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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