drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
