Kiss
Puke
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
