office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
