: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
