WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
