Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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