i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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