You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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