Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it was like eating out sand paper
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
