How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize