Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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