areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
