My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Your penis caused this!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
