Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
