did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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