I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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