I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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