you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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