i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Randomize
