they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it hurts more in the daytime
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
