so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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