I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize