we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
