well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize