Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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