i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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