Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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