I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
