everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she peed on how many people?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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