she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
