Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
