So drunk its hurt
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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