Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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