She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
