Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
