Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
