ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
