I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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