I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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