Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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