We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
