You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
