you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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