And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
