Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
