the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
