After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
