I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
