He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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